Friday, December 5, 2008

Best. Video. Ever.




WOW. This video has it all:
An effeminate knight wearing eyeliner.
Hot chicks.
Swords and fire breathing terradactyls.
PIRATES!
Explosions.
Fireworks.
PIRATES!
And Kick ass air guitar playing by said effeminate knight.

This video will rock you so fucking hard you won't know what hit you.
You'll be transported to another world, flown to the heavens, then gracefully rocked back down to earth by legolas from lord of the rings.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

You will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep.


Teens Charged In Nursing Home Abuse


DECEMBER 2--A group of teenagers working at a Minnesota nursing home abused and sexually humiliated elderly residents suffering from Alzheimer's disease and dementia, prosecutors allege. The six young female caregivers were named yesterday in criminal complaints charging them with a variety of cruel behavior at the Good Samaritan Society nursing home in Albert Lea, a city in southern Minnesota. Only two of those charged--Brianna Broitzman, 19, and Ashton Larson, 18--are named in the complaints since they were not minors when the alleged abuse occurred. According to District Court complaints filed against Broitzman (pictured above left) and Larson (above right), nursing home residents were spat upon, spanked, improperly touched, and tormented by the teenagers earlier this year. Excerpts of the misdemeanor complaints can be found below. Broitzman allegedly poked one resident's breasts, spit into the mouth of another elderly person, and "put her bare butt" in the face of a Good Samaritan Society resident identified as "S.W." Larson once "inserted her finger into a resident's rectum," spit water on another "vulnerable adult," and would deliberately bathe a resident in a rough manner so the elderly man would get an erection. The minor caregivers are identified in the complaints by their initials and dates of birth. Broitzman, charged with 11 criminal counts, and Larson, charged with 10 counts, face a year in jail or up to a year in jail on each of the raps.


If you asked me yesterday if I ever wanted to be placed in nursing home when I got older I would have judo chopped you in the throat. But now it doesn't seem so bad does it? Morning spankings with a vigorous crotch bathing? Improper touching at lunch with a young bare ass in my face? A digit inserted in my rectum as I slowly gum my creamed corn at dinner? Humiliation and spitting after the lights go out?
Never mind a nursing home, this sounds like an amazing, yet expensive, Saturday night out.

These girls shouldn't be prosecuted, they should be congratulated.
Congratulated for fulfilling an old man's hopes and dreams.
The only sad part here is that the Alzheimer's disease won't let him remember those dreams being fulfilled.
And that, my friends, is the real crime here.


The defense rests.