damn you walt whitman. damn you to hell.

click picture to enlarge


This is quite possibly the greatest english paper i've ever read by someone named peter nguyen.

This is also why i could never be a teacher. why you ask?
well i'll tell you why : Its because i would absolutely give this kid an A+ for being awesome........ly accurate with his historical recollections regarding Emily Dickenson, Candy, whiny goth poetry and livejournal's direct link to said poetry.

Also why does his teacher have the penmanship of a 4 year old?

His name is joel, and he loves the pole.

I'm not a father yet, but there's one thing i know fo sho' about being a father.
"They don't grade fathers, but if your daughter's a stripper...you fucked up".
-chris rock.

So I can only imagine how Joel's father feels.
Hopefully he is dead, or too old to know what the "interwebs" is.


Warning: what you are about to see, cannot be unseen.




Ladies and Gentleman, I give you the COUP DE GRACE.




Can you imagine going over to Joel's house to watch a football game, or simply for dinner and discovering this "dungeon of pole"? Can you believe this guy is married and has a DAUGHTER?!!!!! I'd love to see the vegas odds on his daughter becoming a stripper. Hey don't get me wrong though, i'd never step foot in this guys house. I'd punch Joel square in his level-5-sex-offender-rapist-glasses if he so much as smiled at me.

But you keep dancing Joel.
You go girl.

Hassssssssan Chop!

Orchard Park police are investigating a particularly gruesome killing, the beheading of a woman, after her husband — an influential member of the local Muslim community — reported her death to police Thursday

Muzzammil Hassan is the founder and chief executive officer of Bridges TV, which he launched in 2004, amid hopes that it would help portray Muslims in a more positive light.

I would definitely consider "beheading your wife" in the top 10 things NOT to do in order to "portray muslims in a more positive light".
Other things on that list include, but are not limited to(in no particular order):
- Suicide bombings
- Wearing puma speed cats with track pants and armani exchange shirts


Full Story Here

I could tell you, but then i'd have to ki--nevermind i'll just take 14K.

Fantasist stole £14k from girlfriend by pretending to be a James Bond-style agent.

Whisky shop salesman Wayne Gouveia cheated Leanne McCarthy of £14,000 after convincing her that her jeweller boss was about to poison her with anthrax powder in her mail.
He even made the 21-year-old jeweller's assistant sign the Official Secrets Act to keep up the pretence that he was a James Bond-style secret agent.
Miss McCarthy was taken in by Gouveia's story when they worked in shops in Turl Street, Oxford.
After Gouveia, 25, pleaded guilty to three charges of fraud by false representation [[on Monday]], Miss McCarthy described him as "really believable".

Really believable? REALLY BELIEVABLE?!
At first I was outraged and couldn't understand how this lady could believe such malarkey. However, it soon struck me who this young man really is.
It's my favorite actor, and yours, and star of such hit TV shows and movies 'king of queens', 'Hitch', 'I now pronounce you chuck and larry', 'Paul Blart- Mall cop', and 'Elmo's Christmas Countdown'....Kevin James.



His acting skills knows no bounds.
Who else could have bamboozled a young woman into thinking a balding, fat train wreck of a human being was a secret agent?
Perhaps al roker , but we'll never know.

Awwww.......anarchy.

"Anarchists share few of the beliefs of mainstream society - except the desire to be with someone special on Valentine's Day. So the once-notorious group Class War is marking 14 February with a speed-dating event.

Better known for generating outraged headlines - the group was blamed by Fleet Street for instigating 1990's Trafalgar Square poll tax riots, and featured a regular page three "hospitalised copper" in its own newspaper - its activists have arrived upon a fresh tactic to advance the downfall of bourgeois society. Speed dating."

um. Doesn't this completely undermine their bad ass anarchist ideals?
organizing?! With a form of authority?! For Valentines Day?!!!
I wonder how many scooby doo and/or superman valentine's day cards were distributed via moltov cocktail.