America....FUCK YEAH.
Unfortunately i have only been able to watch aquaman, aka michael phelps, defacate all over every world class swimmer so i only know absolute domination up to this point. And i use the word swimmer because I couldn't actually bring myself to type the word athlete when talking about swimming. I group swimming in with other hobbies like golf, chess, race car driving, and tiddlywinks. I know the kid trains hard, but lets cut the bullshit people. The kid has size 14 feet.... nay flippers and that's borderline cheating in my book.
I digress.
Since it's been all phelps all the time, i've had little opportunity to view scantily clad young girls doing splits.... aka gymnastics. I did catch some last tuesday and immediately knew that the chinese were running with a crew of 8 year old mutants. There is no way in hell any of those girls were a day over 13....and here is proof:
"BEIJING -- Just nine months before the Beijing Olympics, the Chinese government's news agency, Xinhua, reported that gymnast He Kexin was 13, which would have made her ineligible to be on the team that won a gold medal this week." (link)
I think we can all learn a very valuable lesson here:
We need to start adopting more awesome names in this country.
call me old fashioned, but its my dream that one day my child will be able to pronounce at the most opportune time "it's ok everyone, i'm batman".
dare to dream people.
(raises fist) daaaare
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