Holy cow

"A TWISTED oddball with an insatiable animal fetish was arrested after allegedly having sex with 400 cows."

400 Cows?! How does one even track the sexual habits of a cow fucker? Is it as simple as just asking him? I bet police didn't even divide that number by 3 to account for an overly boastful cow casanova. In my opinion that's just shoddy police work. Not only is this guy going to jail for loving cows, but the cops are trying to pin some cow deaths on him too. Listen i'm not trying to defend a cow fucker, but come on, the cops could pretty much pin whatever they wanted on this guy.

Contrary to popular belief, fucking cows may damage your credibility.

I'm pretty sure the interrogation went something like this:
Cops: "listen we're going to charge you with fucking cows, stealing the Mona Lisa and killing princess Diana."
Cow Fucker: "But I didn't steal the Mona Lisa or kill princess Diana."
Cops: "um....you're a cow fucker."
Cow fucker: "well played sir."
end scene


article link